Self-love is a way of showing yourself compassion and understanding. It’s about accepting and caring for yourself, understanding your imperfections, and giving yourself the same kindness you give others.
Though important, self love in parenting can be hard to practice especially if you struggle with parental anxiety.
What is Parental Anxiety?
Parental anxiety is worry that comes from a parenting or caregiver role. According to the American Psychological Association, in 2023, 33% of parents reported high levels of stress.
Becoming a parent is incredibly rewarding and daunting. For many of us it is one of the biggest responsibilities we’ve had. From finances to work life balance, there is no map to get this right. It is completely normal to feel overwhelmed.
Perfection in parenting
It is challenging to fight the drive for perfection in parenting. It may seem that perfection is about wanting the best outcome for our children; but, this is unattainable.
There is no way to be a perfect parent. The goal for flawlessness can keep parents stuck in a loop of self criticism.
Some things that come up in motherhood may be:
- Negative self talk
- Setting unrealistic standards for ourselves
- Depriving ourselves of things we deserve
- Neglecting our bodies
Self love is critical. It impacts your mental health, self esteem , and overall life satisfaction. As Jeffrey Borenstein, President of the Brain & Behavior Research Foundation, puts it
“Self-love is a state of appreciation for oneself that grows from actions that support our physical, psychological and spiritual growth. Self-love means having a high regard for your own well-being and happiness. Self-love means taking care of your own needs and not sacrificing your well-being to please others.”
What does self love look like?
Avoid negative self talk
One way to show yourself love through words is to compliment yourself, use words of affirmation, or write to yourself in a journal
Create personal rituals
What sort of routines and rituals help you feel more grounded and like yourself? This may be putting thought into meal preparation, getting your hair done so you feel beautiful on the outside and inside, or creating an at home spa ritual. Use your favorite hand creams or soothing aromatherapy oils.
Set healthy boundaries
It is important to recognize when you are uncomfortable in a situation and say no. Saying no is a good way to prevent feeling overwhelmed, to prioritize yourself and the things that bring you joy.
By establishing a self love routine, you ensure you are in the best space to parent. When you take care of yourself and make yourself a priority, everyone benefits.
