Managing Mom Guilt

Jamilah Cherry

There are a ton of expectations about motherhood seemingly coming from everywhere. We are spoon fed messages about what motherhood should be from family, friends, social media, and marketing campaigns.

Mothers are often branded as being happy but in reality 1 in 7 mothers experience postpartum depression or anxiety. This can create feelings of dissatisfaction or shame when there is a discrepancy between the view of the ideal and actual self (Higgins, 1987).

Guilt and shame can result in negative self talk and spiral into depression. If you find that mom guilt is interfering with your day to day life, bring it up to your doctor.

Motherhood brings with it a host of complicated feelings.

Things you may be anxious about

Your own personal experiences – It can be overwhelming attempting to overcome trauma, live up to familial expectations or the opposite, improve on your parents shortcomings
Judgment from outsiders – unsolicited advice is the bane of my existence. People often mean well, but it doesn’t feel like it. Sometimes a recommendation of what you “should be doing” adds to a deeper anxiety.
Asking for help – help may seem as an indication of failure, which it totally isn’t. Everyone needs help from time to time and what better way than asking from your community.

Things you may feel guilty about

Thinking your kids are annoying
Wanting some time to yourself
Letting your kids have screen time
Work interfering with family events

It can be hard to give yourself permission to take time away from children but remember, taking time for yourself is best for them too. Lets work on letting go of that guilt so that we can be the best version of ourselves.

Mental Health