Although self care has been linked to better health, there are barriers that make it difficult to practice. Barriers include time restraints, limited finances, limited social support, difficulty accepting help and difficulty setting boundaries (Barkin & Wisner, 2013).
What is Intensive Parenting?
Modern parenting tends to value parenting that takes a large amount of work. There is an increased focus on management, participating in extracurricular activities, and selecting social circles for your children. A recent study showed intensive parenting values are spreading and becoming more popular. This culture shift may be a response to increased competition and the wider gap between socioeconomic classes.
Parents face increasing pressure to use more and more resources to make sure their children are stable. According to a Pew Research Center Survey, in addition to worrying about child development, lower income families worry about access to safe environments and quality programs in general.
With all these increased expectations, it is no surprise that parenting can lead to increased stress, anxiety, and depression.
Barriers to Self care
- Limited finances
- Repressing emotions
- Not asking for help
- Limited community
- Limited transportation
- Limited outreach
Financial Difficulty and Self Care
Socioeonomic status includes education, income, living conditions, and resources. The higher the income and education level, the more likely an individual is to participate in self care. Dr. Paris B. Adkins-Jackson showed in her study that the activities that were most influenced by socioeconomics included striving for balance, scheduling regular activities with children, and finding ways to laugh (adkins-jackson 2020).
Self Care and Cultural Expectations
Social and cultural expectations of mothers can serve as barriers to practicing self care and setting boundaries. Mothers are often defined by our availability to our children, our selflessness and our capacity to nurture. Themes of self sacrifice and duty have been shown to be a source of stress and pride.
African American women have been defined by the “strong black woman” identity. The superwoman concept is characterized by strength, independence, and a desire to help others before self (Woods Giscombe 2010). The literature suggests it is a role born out of survival. African American women have had to juggle roles of mother, breadwinner, and nurturer out of necessity. However, these roles have been linked to stress.
Community Impact on Self Care
Extended family networks provide support, guidance, and safety for children who would otherwise be limited by their parent’s individual resources. For mothers struggling with postpartum depression, support from family has shown to be a healing force (Ramos- Ayla 2018).
Family and friendship networks provide opportunities for self-care by creating windows of time. For example, shared child care decreases demands on individual mothers.
Women who are more persistently engaged in community are also less likely to report anxious or depressed moods. Involvement in community organizations benefits physical and mental health through social support, enhanced opportunities for interaction, and expanded social networks. (Fothergill et al., 2012).
Self Care Ideas for Busy Moms
Self care activities for parents are diverse and are often considered a strategy to lower stress. Try these ideas:
- Taking time out
- Engaging in pleasurable activities
- Delegating childcare
- Eating healthy
- Getting enough sleep
- Finding spiritual connection
If self care feels difficult, know that you are not alone. It may help to break down ideas into smaller more accessible options. It also can help to know that self care doesn’t have to be expensive or extravagant. It is of utmost importance that you take care of yourself so that you can be the best version of you.
